Cheney Causes Heart Attack

Why do I find so much humor in tragedy? This time it is the hunting accident involving Vice President Dick Cheney and his buddy, Harry Whittington. And I'm not the only one seeing the humor.

Every headline is it's own punchline. Here's a summary of the story.

The second-highest ranking authority in American shot his lawyer friend. The accident was not reported for 24 hours. Authorities discover Cheney was not licensed to shoot quail, nor did he take gun safety classes. Even though Cheney didn't have a heart attack, but Whittington did.

These are my jokes:

1) Most people dream of shooting a lawyer.
2) Cheney was not licensed to shoot lawyers either.
3) Taking one from Former FEMA Director Mike Brown: "Everything is fine on the Gulf Coast."
4) At least the government is consistent. Whenever news affects them, remain mute until a spin doctor is consulted.
5) Cheney needed to keep up with Bush in the headline wars.
6) After his last heart attack, Cheney made a deal with Jor-El. Now someone close to him will suffer. (Smallville fans understand)
7) Cheney shows all Americans why we should be allowed to carry (and possibly conceal) weapons.
8) Whittington must know too much about something, and Cheney's "hunting accident" was meant to dispose of him. When that didn't work, Cheney added birdshot to the IV to finish him off. The VP's "friendship" with Whittington allowed him to get close and cause destruction. All I know is that the government should hire a professional next time.
9) David wanted Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, so he lured him into a situation in which he would surely die. If Cheney wanted Whittington's wife, he failed. Besides, she's probably old and wrinkled.
10) Cheney is preparing to visit Afghanistan where he must shoot quail for norishment and men in the bushes for survival.

I cannot pass up this one either:

* White House spokesman Scott McClellan, wearing an orange necktie, previewed a White House appearance of University of Texas Longhorn Football team, which wears orange jerseys: "The orange that they're wearing is not because they're concerned that the vice president may be there -- although that's why I'm wearing it."